As is usual for this time of year, there’s more things to do than can get done; despite good intentions some things just seem to lag. One thing that I really wanted to to before Christmas was to promote a book that would just be perfect under the tree, but of course now I’m more talking about the tree in 2006 than 2005, but on the other hand, there ARE five shopping days left.

This book would be the instant classic, ‘Real Men Don’t Rehearse’ by fellow myauditions.com blogger Justin Locke. I was checking out the other blogs on this site a few months ago and noticed a mention about his book, so I went to his website, justinlocke.com, read a few of the excerpts and within a few hours had gone to eBay (it’s now on Amazon.com) and placed an order.

This book is the best depiction of orchestra life that I’ve read since Harry Ellis Dickson’s book, ‘Gentlemen, More Dolce Please’, which is still a timeless description of orchestra life, funny anecdotes involving the Pops and Feidler, and most famously a summary of the stereotypes of how each instrument seems to attract similar personality types- you know, ‘cellists are passionate’, ‘clarinet players are obsessed with equipment’, etc. etc. (Another classic is Berlioz’s ‘Evenings with the Orchestra’)

Justin’s book doesn’t have that personality list (other than a description of the bass player personality), but it sure has a lot of the ‘inside scoop’ about what it is like to play in an orchestra, professionally. Starting with the inevitable 1812 Overture anecdote (and everyone’s got one! Trust Me!), going on to the intricacies of Pops Bass spinning (and what Pops concert would be complete without basses spinning, trombonists square dancing (as has happened in the HSO on occasion), timpanists with umbrellas unfurled for ‘Raindrops Keep Falling’- you get the picture), page turning etiquette, contract negotiation minutiae, the whole nine yards of orchestra life.

Other noteworthy (no pun intended) features to be found in Justin’s book include a glossary of musical slang (notefest = a piece with a lot of notes), the rule of conductor’s names (must have at least five syllables). Pops Disasters and Funny Stories, more 1812 Overture anecdotes, a tribute to the unsung Orchestra Librarian, tour stories, opera disasters- well, you get the picture.

There’s even a serious chapter that describes his youthful summers of practice and his realization that fundamentals (like scales and interval studies) are essential to mastery of the instrument. Good words of advice that I give to my students every week.

Most amazing, for me, was to realize that he and I had actually gone to the same summer program (Boston University Tanglewood Institute), the same year (1971- a lifetime ago). I thought that name was vaguely familiar!

All in all, this book is a great read and is a must for anyone who is aspiring to a career as a professional musician- both as a little taste of the flavor of professional life, and also as a cautionary tale of what you’re getting yourself into. It would make a great Christmas gift for your mother! (But don’t tell my Mom- her copy is in the mail! )

Check it out at justinlocke.com.

All-Right, JUSTIN! (You’ll have to read the book to get this one)

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